Letters to Our Daughters. This project is one that I hold dear to my heart. It’s a project I do not only for myself but for my girls. The ones who will hopefully be reading (and want to read) this when they are older, or if they are lucky, mothers themselves. I hope the words that I share with them today will always bring them back to a place of unconditional love, especially during times of need.
February is for my dearest E.
Honey, I don’t know if we ever told you how your name came to be. We didn’t want to find out the gender of our first baby so we wanted to choose a fairly gender neutral name. Daddy really like your name and I liked it’s meaning “Lord is my God”. But during my pregnancy, we had some challenging news and decided to undergo an amniocentesis to find out more information about you. When we finally met you, especially the way you came into our life so quickly, we knew your name was meant for you because you are truly this special gift. You are our little trail blazer, sass and all. Outside you are all daddy but inside you’re a lot of me. Dramatic, emotional, sensitive, quick-tempered, creative, loving, affectionate.
Honey, you give the best hugs. You want to make art for your teachers and friends and your family all the time. My card stock and tape needs to be replenished, constantly. You like to pretend to be a princess-doctor who is about to embark on an adventure with a backpack full of the most random things (like a wooden fish and a crystal that you pretend make up the stylus and screen of a Leap Pad that you don’t even have). Some days you would look at your playroom full of toys and crafts and say, “I’m bored”. You have so much you don’t even know how much. One day we are going to donate these toys to kids that are not as fortunate and you’re going to cry about them like they’re all your favourites. You’ve been planning your 5th birthday party the day after you turned 4. First it was Lego (it’s gotta be adorned with a storm trooper and Princess Leia) and now it’s Frozen-themed. I don’t think I could survive another princess-themed party after your fourth birthday. Plus I think we’ve more than met our quota of Frozen material daily, what with you singing “Let it Go” all.the.time. out.of.tune. “Voice of an angel, that one”, gestures pitch perfect Daddy. Sorry kid, you got that unfavourable trait from me.
Honey, we may be your parents but you taught us how. You taught me how to be a mom. You break me on your hard days and drive me absolutely crazy; I have never felt so emotionally defeated. But you make me want to be a better parent when I catch myself unravelling. You remind me to love you more when you see me loving on your baby sister (her chubbiness just requires more loving!). You make me want to love you so much more when you give your heart to your daddy, your sister, your puppy and me. Like how you told me the other night what you’re grateful for, “I’m grateful for you mommy, for how you take care of me and how you cook yummy food (right…. she has no idea), and how to make things pretty for me, like my room. But I have one thing I want to say, but it’s not about being grateful or anything. I just want to say sorry for being so yai yai (naughty in chinese) sometimes and that I will try to be a good girl for you.”. That made me pause, look into your soulful eyes, and hug and kiss you the best way I know how to tell you how much I love you. My heart is full from your love.
This is you, on our date to the local Tim Hortons where I surprised you with a donut treat that Daddy would definitely disapprove of. Then we hit the craft store in search of Valentine material so you can make lots for the people that you love.
Next up in the circle is my dear and very talented friend, Nicole. Please click through until you return here because there’s so much heart to be shared!