Remember when you were dating in your 20s/30s, and you get to the point in the relationship where you ask yourself – is this person the one? And if the answer is a probable yes, then you start picturing the possibilities?
The engagement. The wedding. The elopement. The details. The kind of family you will have. The house you will live in. The pets you will have. The travels you will embark on together. Not in that order, not all for one person, not all at once :).
And on the day of the official nuptuals, when we speak the words “for better or worse”, do we really have the faintest idea what that would be like?
The Engagement RING. The Wedding RING. The SuffeRING.
I remember being a little annoyed about my dad’s speech at my wedding where he said, “Marriage is a three ring affair. First comes the engagement ring, then comes the wedding ring, then comes the suffe-ring.” So not an ideal word choice, but it’s about the rhyme. I think what my dad meant is, it is a grind. At that point in time, the thing we don’t yet know is – getting married IS the easy part. However, anyone who has endured longer than the honeymoon period knows – marriage is HARD and it takes WORK.
It is not unlike parenthood that way, but this marriage foundation is critical to family success. You work hard to maintain it, to stay committed, to save some of yourself for the other person at the end of the day, to share your vulnerable side. No amount of “better” days will ever substitute the work you need to do to weather the “worse” together. When you are feel lost, the other better half will be there to patch you back up again. When life hands you miserable lemons, you have the best company to squeeze some juice out of it!
It is the “SuffeRING” that gives your marriage the depth and patina, and what you endure will bind you closer. And for this, every anniversary deserves to be celebrated with all of the pomp and circumstance – like having grandma sleep over with your 3 littles so that you can enjoy a night out to relive your glory 20s with U2 and JUST each other. Filling your marriage cup so that you can fill the other buckets in your life. Boom! Marriage gold.
Lorraine and Kavie, this Day in the Life session is a true reflection of the work you have put in together. Oh the patina the two of you have built is beautiful! Congratulations on 11 and here’s to another 11 that will carve those vintage grooves that are invaluable!
From their Day in the Life in 2015. And if you look really closely, family photos from circa 2013 (?) on their bedroom wall.
And then the now, celebrating 11 years. And a new baby. You can read about Zavian’s arrival here.
Felicia is a Vancouver Documentary Photographer who breaks the mold and expectations of traditional family portraiture. She takes the good with the bad, and leaves judgement at the door, and captures everyday life just as she sees it. Contact her to find your family’s edition of life story for your visual diary! To follow more of Felicia’s work, connect over at @feliciachangphoto on Instagram.